It’s a Man’s World, Even in Death: Mary Ann Weems, Murdered and Remembered at The Hands of Her Husband

“As a warning to the Young of both Sexes This Stone is erected by public Subscription.” These words greet passersby in Godmanchester’s St. Mary the Virgin Church.  The gargantuan headstone above Mary Ann Weems’ grave serves not only as a memorial of her 1819 murder, but also invites a troubling tarnish of her identity.

Her story has stood in this cemetery for centuries, visible to onlookers. Unlike other headstones, her role as the victim, murdered, perhaps even blamed, is attributed to her memory. Mary Ann arguably cannot rest in peace. The events of her life and death are brought up each time her final resting place is passed. Unlike other headstones in this cemetery, her life is memorialised, made permanent, in this stone.

A community decision to immortalise this event is crucial for examining the involvement of gendered expectations being perpetuated even in death. Murder is brutal. It is the action of intentionally taking away the life of another human. Thomas Weems, her husband and murderer, is forever tied to her story through her headstone. His actions, laid out on the stone, tell the ghastly tale of deceit culminating in the barbarous act. This event would have reached local newspapers and would have attracted considerable attention from the time the murder occurred in May until the trial and execution in August of the same year. As such, we must ask what prompted the community to place such a stone?

The very nature of it, prominent, visible and detailed, shows the desire for the event to be memorialised. Whether Mary Ann would have wished the circumstances leading to her ‘compulsory marriage’ — and the assumption that she was pregnant — to be made public is another question entirely. Furthermore, the fact that we know how the stone was erected, through “public Subscription”, shows how important it was for the local community to involve itself in Mary Ann’s situation. Could this be a sense of guilt?

Close your eyes and imagine a Victorian. Who do you see? Most likely, I’d imagine you would envisage a man dressed in dark colours with an austere appearance. Victorian society has been typified as a serious society guided by morals. These morals, including reserved attitudes towards sexual relationships and behaviour, would likely have been present in Mary Ann’s life. Her “compulsory marriage” was likely governed by her parish, which did not wish for any potential child from these relations between her and Thomas to taint her child. The idea of unmarried couples having a child would have been out of the question. It was not the ‘done’ thing to do.

I believe that this stone, this story, this legacy for Weems was an attempt to suppress guilt - a way to highlight to other parishioners that this marriage was intended for good, and that the parish had done what they thought was their duty. Yet, things went so badly for Mary Ann, and these Victorian morals did their deed, complicit in her death.

The historian Sarah Murden has delved further into the circumstances surrounding Weems's marriage on her blog All Things Georgian [1]. Through her research, she discovered that Mary Ann and Thomas were married in the parish church of Goldington, Bedfordshire, on January 3, 1818. This marriage was indeed founded on the principle that Mary Ann was pregnant. This turned out later not to be true. Thomas, who had departed soon after the wedding, had found company elsewhere, leading to his diabolical actions in 1819.

Murden’s research suggests that Godmanchester as a parish took the initiative to commemorate this poor woman who was murdered at the hands of one of their former parishioners. Yet, including remarks about the circumstances leading to her marriage suggests she was not entirely exonerated by their judgment.

Even though Mary Ann had given her life at the hands of her husband’s desires, she was still tied to societal expectations of morality and purity. She could not rest. Even now, she remains judged by the moral standards of early 19th-century Godmanchester. She is much less a victim and much more a cautionary tale. Still, instead of an allegorical novella of fictitious characters, she is unfortunately real, dead and buried at the hands of her husband’s actions.

As a modern observer, a woman, and someone turning 21 (the same age as Mary Ann when she was murdered), I find it hard to distance the events of 1819 from today. Domestic violence still occurs, with many men and women suffering in silence. This case of the nineteenth century highlights how social pressures place women in dangerous situations. Mary Ann may have escaped death had she and Thomas been spared a rushed marriage. Had their parish waited to see if she were pregnant, perhaps this could have been avoided? How many other women have died in similar ways, but their partners live to tell the tale and avoid prosecution? These questions push me to view her grave as not a caring monument, but instead an attack on her character and reducing her to no more than the character of a story, rather than the real person she would have been.

Perhaps the issue with cases such as these is the endurance of husbands as murderers in the presence of the deceased’s resting place. Mary Ann’s remains cannot be distanced from her story, unless she is exhumed and reburied, or the headstone is removed. Neither of which, I believe, is likely to happen anytime soon. The husband's role, even as the killer, is made permanent. He could have been nameless, and her headstone could have been a lament to the tragic events that occurred, but instead, his name is etched beside hers, inescapable. For this reason, her headstone must be viewed as this propaganda for morality and not a memorandum for the person she was, or could have been.  

 

[1] https://georgianera.wordpress.com/tag/godmanchester/


Mary Ann Weems' Headstone, as seen in St. Mary the Virgin church's grounds in Godmanchester. [Photo: D. Cushman, 2025]

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